Up until now I sabotaged myself and the flow of my experience by asking for help from others only if I couldn't see any other possibility. Given that one of the main experiences my Soul wants to explore in this life time is giving and receiving KINDNESS I have created situations for myself where I had to ask for help to have this experience - over and over again. Today I chose differently. I'm on the way back home from an amazing trip to London and while I had a wonderful time I also had a lot of pain due to my pelvic girdle pain/SPD, my wobbly hips caused by the pregnancy. Being in pain is my comfort zone and I only had this realisation yesterday. I know pain, I had more days in my life with physical pain than without. It's time to let go of that part of my identity that I wasn't aware of. But now I know. Now I see. Now there is no way I'm going back to sleep.
So today, walking with my suitcase and my crutch through the airport I started getting really tired and the pain got worse and worse. I had enough time to get to my gate slowly and somehow I could have made it, resulting in me being in a lot of pain tonight and tomorrow. And I chose differently! When I made the decision to head to the Special Needs Assistance desk my sign, the butterfly, showed up. Not once or twice, a hundred times!
The beautiful thing was that it didn't end there: when I arrived in Cork the man who pushed my wheel chair to the entrance hall asked me what I did in London, I told him about the workshop and my work and he started talking about his own Kundalini awakening 7 years ago and how the highlight of his day is his 3 hours of meditations and visualisations. What are the odds? We had a wonderful spiritual conversation all the way through pass control and he even waited with me for my family to arrive. We hugged each other goodbye and even though it was just before midnight I felt calm and centred and filled with love. My question for you is: Where are you living in your comfort zone, not because it is comfortable, but because it is familiar? And how can you chose differently - just for today? What I received in exchange for this different choice was so much kindness from a lovely Special Assistance agent, who organised me a wheelchair and got me to my gate in record time, using all the short cuts and giving me background info about the airport. I felt like a VIP, really taken care off. So not only did I ask for help before I was on my hands and knees, but I also prevented more pain, opening myself up to the best experience possible! I deserve to live a life free of pain. And I commit to deepen into self compassion even further, rest before pain comes in, ask for help instead of pushing through.
Sending you so much Love&Light,